I've dealt with anxiety for most of my life, and for a long time, I let the triplet demons of "What if they say no? To be perfectly honest, I've established more of a truce with the demons than an actual victory, but I've learned that when you stare a demon in the eye and act like it doesn't exist, it whimpers and puts its tail between its legs.
Because guess what? Most people are legitimately psyched to have a cool activity presented to them — you're literally doing them a favor! If you do it enough, it'll become a habit, and before you know it, you'll have things to do whenever you want. Making Friday plans on a Thursday afternoon may work 4 times out of 10, but so does going outside without an umbrella in April. It's risky AF. Planning a week or more in advance is not!
LARPing in the park , how many friends you want to see, and what kind of schedule you're on, you may want to adjust this lead time so that your plan actually, you know, happens. Generally, though, think about it this way: You're only as available as your busiest friend, so plan with enough lead time to make room for alternate dates and times. PSA: "Hey! Let's catch up sometime, it's been forever! It's been forever!
Let's get coffee and catch up next Wednesday or Thursday if you're free" pretty much swings the door wide open for a good IRL hangout. So your pal has asked if you want to get dinner, and you actually do. Now that they've taken the first step, suggest some dates you're free and maybe even some places to go.
Don't make them do all the work. Alternately, if you and a few friends have all decided to, say, go see a movie, don't be the disappearing friend who sits back and relaxes as everyone else figures out the tedious logistics. You're not invisible, and believe me, they know you're not helping. And when you have to haul ass 45 minutes out of your way to a movie theater you never would've chosen, no one will feel bad for you. If you said B, then congratulations — you'll probably be splitting a large pizza with another human on Sunday because you can tell which of those implies, "LOL I don't really care if we do this," and which one communicates, "I actually want to spend some of my free time in your company.
It also means you'll be stuck going back and forth for a lot longer than you need to. Not cool, people. Not cool. We are all our own versions of busy! Literally no one cares that you are busy! Even if you know, deep down, you have way too much going on to do whatever it is this person is asking you to do, please don't say that to them. You're basically telling them that they have nothing important going on in their lives and that you, on the other hand, are very busy and important.
Be better than that. You know yourself better than anyone, and if you can just tell you're going to really regret agreeing to go to that Zumba class the day of and try to bail, don't say you'll go to the Zumba class! To do that you've got to organize a plan with them. Sometimes that's simple and straightforward. At other times it's more of a hassle to coordinate. If you can get the hang of setting up plans it can allow you to very actively take charge of your social situation.
Rather than waiting for whatever comes along, you can step up and arrange the kinds of outings you'd like. You don't have to wait for ideas to occur to other people first. If you want to go to a certain event with your friends, or just see them more often, you can make it happen.
If you get along great with your co-workers, but no one ever sees each other outside of work, you can be the one to set something up. I've noticed the idea of actively coordinating plans is strong enough that even people who don't have particularly outstanding personalities can have busy social lives, just because they're constantly arranging one outing or another.
Meanwhile, someone who is technically more likable or interesting, but more lazy about making plans, may not get to go out as much as they'd like. If you look at how people naturally make plans with their friends you'll notice there are a few main ways they do it. Here someone has most or all of the details of the plan in place beforehand; the activity , the time and location, and the people they want to go with. All they have to do is make the invitation. An example would be someone asking their friends if they'd like to a see a particular movie on a specific date.
From there a few things can happen: Everyone can accept with a minimum of fuss, everyone isn't able to make it, or everyone is more-or-less interested, but some of the details need to be changed e. Friends do this with each other all the time. They'll propose they do something together soon, but most of the details are left vague. If everyone seems keen then they'll flesh things out together. For example, someone might ask a friend if they want to do something on Friday night. If their buddy is free then they'll decide what it is they want to do.
Or someone may ask three friends if they want to try that restaurant that just opened, and then settle on a time and date afterward if they're all up for it. This article is mainly about when you come up with and arrange your own plans. Like I was saying, putting together your own outings is also the best way to really take charge of your social life and not wait around for others to do the work for you.
However, it's important to mention that many of the get togethers people go to are due to them asking around to see what everyone is up to. For example, if someone wants to go out on the weekend, on around Thursday they'll start pinging their social circle and asking them what their plans are for Friday and Saturday night. They're not going to try to initiate their own thing every single week. If they hear something they like they'll get on board. If no one has solid plans yet, but some people are interested in doing something, the "Is anything going on?
Also, asking around like this is also a generally good way to take initiative, show you're interested in spending time with people, and generally stay on a group's radar. It's fairly easy and satisfying to get text or call out of the blue asking if you want to come to a meet up of six friends on a particular date at a particular time at a particular location.
It's a lot harder to set up that get together yourself. Making your own plans can be hard in the following ways:. It takes a bit of guts to ask people to do something with you. Most of the time they give a reasonable excuse if they're not interested, but what if they straight up tell you 'no'? What if a group agrees to come, but then no one actually shows up? Someone may also hesitate to ask around to see what their friends are up to, for fear of seeming like a pest or a needy tag along.
Sometimes this small amount of discomfort can hold you back, or make the process seem like that much more of a chore. Sometimes it's easy to come up with something to do. At other times you have to have to put some time into thinking of a good idea. I recommend spending some time to learn about what your city has to offer in terms of attractions, festivals, restaurants, nightlife, parks, etc. It's a bit easy to fall into a rut where you think there are only a handful of things you can possibly do with someone, like either grab some drinks or see a movie.
Coming up with a plan may involve looking into any number of things: restaurants, movie times, local concerts, parking spots, camp ground reservations, etc. Sometimes you have to find this information for a specific plan. At other times you may have to spend a little time here and there keeping your "ear to the ground" so you're up to date on what's going on in your area.
You can also keep up to date on what's happening in your social circle, so you'll have an idea when people are free, events everyone is excited about attending down the road, and so on. It doesn't take ages, but if your potential plan involves more than one or two people, it can take more time than you'd think to get in touch with them all to ask them if they're up for your idea. Ideally you can send out a mass text or group message, but there may be a few friends you have to contact by other means.
For plans that involve a lot of people this is often the most lengthy and tricky part. Once everyone knows about the plan you're in luck if they all simply agree to show up at the place and time you've set. More often than not some details of your suggestion won't work for them and they'll offer alternatives. Can we do next weekend? How about the weekend after that?
Not only does everyone have to agree on something, or have the plan fizzle out, but somehow they all have to be kept in the loop about what the latest version of the activity is, and what each other's opinions are. This may mean you have to be the go between, constantly texting one person or another back to let them know other people's availability and whatnot. If the plan indeed dies, then you have to start all over again with the next one. Sometimes you have to be a little persistent and persuasive to get people on board with your plan.
Like they may feel like staying in that night, or heading home after work, but a little gentle prodding will make them change their mind. Sometimes people are a little flaky and disorganized, but if you keep following up with them they'll get their act together. If you're going to a restaurant someone has to make the reservations.
If you're having a barbecue or a party you have to go out and pick up the food and drinks. If you're going on a road trip someone might have to rent a car and book accommodation. If the event is fancy do people need to worry about suits or go dress shopping? You may also have to work out the logistics of how everyone's going to get there. Are some people splitting a cab? Do you have to give certain friends a ride? Are some of them meeting you there? Coming up with your own plan takes more thought, and you may have to sell the idea to your friends a little.
It gives you more freedom to set up the kinds of events you want to attend though. What if you want to go to the annual car show, but none of your friends know it's coming to town? Again, you don't have to wait for anything to occur to them first. Just as common is taking someone else's vague suggestion, fleshing it out, and making it a reality.
Like an acquaintance may casually mention having drinks sometime, but not follow up on it. You can pick a specific time and place and ask them if they want to go. The benefit of this route is other people have already expressed interest in the activity. Someone just needs to get it going.
This isn't a hard guideline, and it depends on the friend, but all else being equal, when asking people to hang out it's better not to go the vague route of saying, "We should do something sometime. It's been forever since we last got together. For one, you're transferring some of the responsibility for arranging a plan on to them, which they may not be up to.
Overall, it's too easy for the other person to go, "Yeah, we should If you suggest something more solid it gives them something to react to. They either want to go or they don't. They can either make it that day or they can't. If they can't do that specific get together, but are eager to hang out with you, you have a foundation to work from. Maybe they can meet you for dinner, but on Thursday instead of Wednesday.
Or they'd rather have coffee earlier in the day then go for drinks at night. Before you invite someone out have something in mind, even if it's just a starting point and you're open to it being adjusted. Giving people some alternatives right off the bat works too, but keep it to one or two. Too many and things get confusing and you're essentially back to saying, "Let's hang out sometime.
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If you're arranging something with a bigger group, and everyone's agreed to your plan, but are working out the details with each other, it's not totally yours anymore. Don't get too hung up on it going one particular way.
And if I have some problems with my friends I can always ask my family for support. If I need to take a decision I always can ask an advise. So my parents always know what is better for me. And my friends can explain me all the pros and cons. But I know whatever I choose my people will accept my decision. I can ask for help or support. They know that I am an optimist, but sometimes I am too much emotional. So my family and friends are always there for me.
I like to share my happiness with my family and friends. I know they are not jealous but happy because I feel good. But if you are a good person you will definitely meet someone who thinks the same way. People are different and everyone has the preferences.
But we take care about each other all the time. The children often play board games 3. The baby is sleeping in the moment 4. My sister is playing board games now 5. He doesn't go on hikes in winter 6. They like to going on trips 7. My brother isn't taking photo now Was it at home yesterday? Were you in the Zoo last week? He can't dance or sing. He can't play tennis or can't dance Nora : Going shopping! They are connected to Senate Square. Peter : Excellent.
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